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Posted: 2010-08-03 / Author: Dr. John Demartini

Empower Yourself Now 10 Steps To Living More Confidently



Your life will not be self-directed if you feel powerless. Become the master of your circumstances.

When difficult times hit, such as economic downturns or personal challenges, people often get stuck into patterns of thinking ‘I don’t know what to do’ or ‘Bad things keep happening to me.’ Many people think they are victims of their circumstances, and that there is nothing they can do to uplift themselves or their situation – they feel it’s out of their hands. Perhaps you have been retrenched or have gone through a challenging personal or familial experience.  How many of you can relate to this?

So, you ask, how can I turn these situations around?

How does a business leader make it through an economic downturn seemingly unscathed? First of all, they might have financial loss, but a natural leader will recognize the value of other types of assets – the value of
continuing education, the value of personal development and the value of understanding that every challenge is in fact a benefit.
 

How many of you faced a challenge which propelled you to find a different solution to a perceived hopeless problem? How did that get you to think outside of the box and implement new procedures which had even better outcomes? 

The natural leaders in the world come through challenging times grateful for the lessons they learn. They are the ones who use downtime to invest in themselves and to empower their intellect, their understanding of human behaviour and their understanding of how emotions can influence rash or panicked actions or decisions. They become pro-active rather than reactive. 

When you are stuck in the cycle of beating yourself up, or feeling bad about things, believe it or not – you are actually building yourself up in another area of your life.  Yes, it’s true -  at the exact same moment that you are minimising and beating yourself up, in another area of your life you are actually grander, building yourself up and perhaps even cocky. At the exact same moment inside the human psyche you can never put yourself down without building yourself up. Within this universe there is a complementation of opposites, and what is true outside is most certainly true within.

So where in your life are you confident, sure of yourself and your abilities? 

Within all of us is a natural leader. The Trumps and the Buffets of the world are no different from us - they just recognise opportunities within perceived difficulties. You have those same qualities within yourself as well, and are using them in other areas of your life. Now is the time to apply those qualities in the areas they may be lacking. Don’t let yourself subscribe to mass theories of victimization - you have the power within yourself to master your experiences and ultimately your life. Invest in yourself. Understand that challenges are advantages. Take downtime to increase your knowledge. Below are some additional steps to help you have a self-directing life.

Here are 10 Steps to Living More Confidently:

  1. Save Money
    Financial independence is a vital aspect of self empowerment. When you invest and manage your money wisely you get more money to manage. When you start to earn income from the interest of your invested money you are entering into a position where money no longer controls you. Save at least 10% of your earnings each month. If this is too much start with, then start with as much as you can. As you increase your savings, you will feel a greater level of self worth which opens you up to be guided by inspiration rather than desperation.  

  2. Know Where You’re Going
    Clearly define what you would love to do in your life. Don’t edit your dreams. If you have a clear road map, it’s much easier to get somewhere. Your energy soars when you’re clear on your aim and direction. 

  3. Surround Yourself with People that Inspire and Uplift You
    People who think big allow you to expand. You cannot put your hand into a pot of glue without some of it sticking and likewise you cannot interact with inspired people without some of that rubbing off on you.

  4. Affirm the Person You Would Like to Become
    Affirmations are simply a title for the ‘things we say to our self about our self’. Rather than think about who you have always been, start telling yourself who you are today in the present moment. As an example: I am confident, powerful and decisive at all times. 

  5. Read, Read and Read
    Whether it be a self help book or a great novel, reading opens your mind and expands your vocabulary. Reading can assist you to speak with poise and confidence.

  6. Count Your Blessings
    Keep a gratitude diary and take note of what you have to be grateful for each day. You will be amazed how this shifts your perspective and actions. 

  7. Eat Less, Eat Regularly
    Eating too much slows you down and can make you sluggish. Eating moderately at regular times each day assists the body with digestion and optimises physical function. 

  8. Smile
    Smiling tends to change your physiology and creates the impression of vibrancy and youthfulness.

  9. Complete Things
    The more you do simple things and complete them, the better you train yourself to do what you say you will and experience a sense of achievement. Start with a checklist. Give yourself rewards. Ask someone to assist you to be accountable.

Transform Your Baggage
Many people walk through their lives dragging their emotional baggage because of a mis-perceived past and events they have never appreciated and loved. Just in case you’re carrying any unnecessary loads, I encourage you to do this one thing now. Make a list of every single thing in your life that you resent, or anything you have never loved—anything you think you made a mistake on, whatever you think you could have done “better.” And then go through those items, one by one, and ask yourself, How did it serve me? How did it serve others? Respond to these two questions again and again, until you discover the benefits of these actions and events, and see the balance, the order, and the gifts resulting from them in your life—and in the lives of others. 

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